


Be my Final Love Story

by RosePetalsAndRain



Series: I want to walk towards the Future with You [2]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pride and Prejudice Fusion, Alternate Universe - Regency, First Kiss, Fluff and Humor, Han Jisung | Han is Whipped, Happy Ending, Hwang Hyunjin is Whipped, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Regency Romance, Slow Burn, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, hbd to the one and only sam hwang ily u sexy beast
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 14:28:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30140973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosePetalsAndRain/pseuds/RosePetalsAndRain
Summary: Over time, and as he spent more and more time with Mr Jisung, and was introduced to his quick, witty humour; his tendencies and habits; his subtle ways of showing his love and affection to those he cared about - it was too late once Hyunjin realised that this may be the first time in his twenty-one years of living that he was experiencing genuine, real, and deep romantic attraction to another.Surprisingly, it did not scare him as it should have. Instead, he took it all in stride, and knew that panicking and withdrawing would only damage a good friendship he had already made in Mr Jisung.Seeing Felix so in love with Mr Jeongin had admittedly made him curious. Could Hyunjin, too, experience what appeared to be so pure and strong? For the first time in his life, he wanted to find out - he wanted to try. With Jisung. For Jisung.There remained only one problem: he was not at all well-versed in the idea of love, and so he had no ideas whatsoever about how to go about confessing or acting on his feelings.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin, Kim Seungmin/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Lee Felix/Yang Jeongin | I.N
Series: I want to walk towards the Future with You [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2196084
Comments: 7
Kudos: 36





	Be my Final Love Story

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from day6 - Finale !! i think it fits this fic very well.   
> birthday fic for the one and only Sam of skz -- happy birthday hyunjin! i hope you come back to us soon, we miss you dearly :( <3   
> let's make sure he has the best birthday possible considering every circumstance!
> 
> quick notice to those who haven't read the first fic: the Kim family is made up of Jisung, Changbin, Chan, Seungmin and Jeongin; and the Lee family is Minho and Hyunjin. Felix is also a Lee, but from a different family, but his parents both passed away so he was taken in by the Lees for his late teenage years, and thus they regard him as a third son. i hope that makes the familial situations clear, and why sometimes felix is referred to as a brother here, and why he's sometimes mentioned separately! 
> 
> happy reading, and welcome back if you've been waiting for this fic since the 2min original! <3

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After Kim Seungmin had, much to the delight of his brothers,  _ finally _ admitted his feelings for the gentleman he had once proclaimed to thoroughly dislike, and even  _ married _ him after that, his brother Jisung was determined that he would only ever enter into a marriage that would make him equally as happy.

And it should have been easy, for he had very high standards way above the bar of basic human decency; but he was also an absolutely hopeless romantic at heart, and fell in love easily. 

It was safe to say that when he had first set eyes upon Mr Hyunjin, he had already let himself fall just a little. Whilst his brothers had been occupied with Mr Felix’s liking to Jeongin, Jisung had silently contemplated whether he would want to get to know Mr Hyunjin any more, or whether he would prefer to leave the initial infatuation to fade naturally: he was left with no choice, however, when both the Kim and Lee families had become irreversibly intertwined with both Seungmin and Mr Minho, and Jeongin and Mr Felix’s relationships budding, growing and blossoming. 

Jisung longed for something akin to his brothers’ love, but knew that simply longing would bear no fruit in the world of his own romance. 

It almost felt like fate: that he should get so heavily involved with the very family in which the object of his newly found affections resided - but at first, he left it alone, and thought of it not. 

However: that was  _ before _ his mother had woken up one day and decided it would be a good idea to try to force him to propose to one of his female friends out of nowhere. That day had been terrifying, but Chan - dear, dear Chan - had stepped in instead, and Jisung had been left free to pursue a romance of his own choosing once more. That night he had lain in bed and thought of nought but Mr Hyunjin, and it was then indeed that he realised that his feelings were more than a simple puppy crush or spell of infatuation. 

From there, everything seemed to escalate. As ironic as it seemed, Mr Hyunjin’s presence only multiplied by the month in the Kim household after Jisung’s resignation to his feelings, and so undoubtedly, his feelings only grew and grew. It did not help that Mr Hyunjin seemed to take a particular liking to him too, although how much of it was romantic fancy instead of genuine friendship, he knew not, and could not be counted upon to tell through the veil of hope and bias held before his eyes. 

And so it continued: one day, Jisung slipped and hurt his ankle, rendering him unable to dance at the ball at the Lee household that he had been invited to a few days later. Mourning the loss of Jisung as a dance partner, Mr Hyunjin had sat with him for the entire night, never leaving his side and talking animatedly with him until the pain in his leg had faded completely, paying him every attention and attending to his every comfort. To the untrained eye, it would certainly look like a very caring gesture, and one stemming from the type of love that is all-consuming, but whether that was truly so, Jisung knew not: he was sure that Mr Hyunjin was simply the caring type, and very empathetic. This was by no means a bad thing, but it made reading into his actions very difficult in relation to his innermost intentions - did he _mean_ to make Jisung inexplicably fond of him as he already had, or did he simply mean to be a good friend? It was not like Jisung had many other people to observe Mr Hyunjin’s actions with, and compare them to his own treatment, and so silent he stayed - until the day that Mr Hyunjin asked him, and nobody else, out on a picnic the following week. 

Granted, Mr Hyunjin had given Jisung the option of deciding whether or not to invite family with them, but when Jisung had insisted that Mr Hyunjin, the host himself, should be the person chusing, he chose to keep the affair small and personal, just the two of them. It connoted romance… or was Jisung reading too much into it? His brothers were of no help either, and teazed him more than anything, although Jisung could not complain when he truly did need the humorous distraction.

  
  


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Hyunjin, on the other hand, had scorned the idea of love since his first true acknowledgement of the word. When his family had moved into Evergreen Manor in Maplebrook, and had held a ball there to get to know their neighbours better, his surrogate brother Felix had instantly fallen for somebody: a tall, foxlike boy from the Kim family called Jeongin, and the day after the ball had been full of conversation about marriage as a result. When one had jestingly mentioned their future marriage, the head of the Lee family - a Mr Lee - spoke up at once, speaking of financial deeds and pointing out that the Kim family were, whilst well-off, not nearly as wealthy as themselves.

“But what does wealth matter, sir, when one could marry for love instead?” Felix had said, a dreamy expression drowning his eyes as he stared off into seemingly nowhere for a second. “I should prefer to marry Jeongin for love than to marry some other person for their wealth. Am I not wealthy enough for the two of us?”

“Indeed you will be, my boy, upon receiving your inheritance. We shall have to see whether you do grow to love one another in the future to discuss more on this topic,” Mr Lee finalised, silencing any argument that Felix may have countered with with a stern look, and so Felix closed his mouth with a small sigh. 

“Do not be so hasty as to fall for him without knowing him properly, Felix,” Minho had advised, pouring tea from a china pot into a delicate cup. “I would rather you secure happiness in any marriage arrangement than rush into things before realising their flaws too late.”

“Is that not why one should marry before knowing much else of their partner?” Hyunjin jested in good humour, walking into the breakfast parlour and sinking down at the table with grace, snatching a freshly warmed slice of toast from the pile in front of him. “That way one should know as little of their spouse’s flaws as possible.”

And in this view he was obstinate: he had never believed in true love like his brothers did, and could never even begin to understand the idea of dedicating one’s life to somebody else in the name of romance and attraction. Yes, he found people attractive, and had experienced small phases of attraction to people before, but he would never quite go so far as to say he  _ liked _ them, and so of course he had never tasted  _ love _ of the romantic sort before. 

Granted, he was aware that it existed, and understood that plainly enough: he simply did not ever see himself falling in love, and although deep down, in a dark box locked out of the way of human, mental and spiritual reach, he  _ did _ want, more than anything, to fall in love unabashedly and fully, and experience that type of love for himself. But he knew that in this day and age it was likely unobtainable, and so he stuck to a strict  _ no feelings _ policy, promising to his mother and father that when the time was right he would marry a person of their choice, with no feelings involved, and instead treated his own marital happiness as a sort of business contraction than a lifelong bond. This saddened his brothers and little sister greatly, but they hoped that one day he would meet somebody who would be able to shake him out of his trance of love-scorning, and have him see the light for himself.

And so, it was fair to say that when Hyunjin had first met Mr Jisung, apart from an initial surface interest at the younger man’s countenance and the way he held himself, there was no attraction on Hyunjin’s behalf at all. When he  _ did _ begin to experience feelings that went beyond platonic, he paid it little mind, thinking that, like every other instance, it would have been surface attraction, and it would dwindle away before long.

How wrong he was.

Over time, and as he spent more and more time with Mr Jisung, and was introduced to his quick, witty humour; his tendencies and habits; his subtle ways of showing his love and affection to those he cared about - it was too late once Hyunjin realised that this may be the first time in his twenty-one years of living that he was experiencing genuine, real, and  _ deep _ romantic attraction to another.

Surprisingly, it did not scare him as it should have. Instead, he took it all in stride, and knew that panicking and withdrawing would only damage a good friendship he had already made in Mr Jisung. 

Seeing Felix so in love with Mr Jeongin had admittedly made him curious. Could Hyunjin, too, experience what appeared to be so pure and strong? For the first time in his life, he wanted to find out - he wanted to  _ try _ . With Jisung.  _ For Jisung _ . 

There remained only one problem: he was not at all well-versed in the idea of love, and so he had no ideas whatsoever about how to go about confessing or acting on his feelings.

For the time being, as Felix and Mr Jeongin were well on their own way to getting engaged and married (from what he had heard from Felix himself) he decided to leave his own feelings for a while, to support Felix through his own journey. Then, he would address his own. 

But in leaving his own feelings be, there was no saying that he had to leave Mr Jisung himself alone - heavens, no! Instead, Hyunjin thought that it would be best to study his own feelings on a closer perspective, and opted to ask Mr Jisung on a picnic, hoping that it would be just the two of them there, and that he could gain a clear picture on his feelings for the younger gentleman once and for all.

All would be well. He had everything under control.

*･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿ ✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･*

The day soon arrived for their picnic, and Jisung truly had not been expecting it to feel this intimate, but in all fairness he had not been expecting  _ anything _ , as he did not like to picture how events should go in his head only to be contradicted in either good or bad ways when things inevitably panned out differently. Mr Hyunjin had brought with him two horses, one of which he offered to Jisung, who took her delightedly for the day, loving the way her black fur shone in the summer light and how warm she felt as he ran his hands over her mane and neck. Mr Hyunjin seemed none the wiser to the exact extent of his delight, and for that Jisung felt slightly relieved; he should have felt a little self-conscious if he had received comments on his mannerisms, and did not wish to restrain his excitement.

They sat down in an open field surrounded by trees of tall, wide stature, and Mr Hyunjin produced his picnic basket from his horse, topped with a blanket upon which the two would sit. It was of a brown colour, and fuzzy texture, perfect for sitting on in a field wherein they would not have to worry about soiling its colour.

"Would you like to eat first, or should you like to wait?" Mr Hyunjin asked, and Jisung internally told his heart to stop racing so, for he should never praise another man for doing the bare minimum, no matter the unlabelled context: he knew deep down that Mr Hyunjin could do  _ anything _ and still his heart would likely threaten to beat right out of his chest.

After telling Mr Hyunjin that he should prefer to sit and enjoy the field for a while before eating, the two settled down, and Mr Hyunjin left the basket just outside of their blanket's general vicinity, so that they had more space to stretch their legs out upon. At the edge of the field their horses whinnied and snorted, their tails twitching and flapping to rid themselves of the horseflies that plagued them so, and in Jisung and Mr Hyunjin's place their flies were replaced with gentle bees and beautiful butterflies that weaved through the air in near-silent elegance.

"I have brought a frisbee that I stole from my mother's supply," Mr Hyunjin confessed, gesturing to the basket, "in case we should like to play some sport. I did not think that, in this heat, it would be wise to play a sport of strenuous nature, as we are not near to anywhere to take shelter from the heat in, and have a while to ride before we find any. As it is, we shall soon have to shelter beneath a tree if we do not want to burn. But frisbee is a lovely way to spend a picnic, is it not?"

"It is indeed," Jisung agreed with enthusiasm. "Once we have eaten I will be glad for a game." As he spoke, a particularly large bee - quite the largest he had ever seen in his  _ life _ , she was truly magnificent - buzzed past Mr Hyunjin's ear, barely skimming it with a breath's width, and Mr Hyunjin shouted aloud in fright, hands swatting at the air that the bee had mercifully left, and Jisung laughed heartily.

"Do not swat at it! Bees are such beautifully genteel creatures, and would never hurt you."

"It was so loud, and I could feel it against my skin - that was purely self defence!" Mr Hyunjin argued back, but there was no heat behind his words, and a sparkle in his eye that put Jisung at complete ease at once. He smiled easily at the gentleman who sat before him, before gazing back across the field.

"I feel a  _ little _ guilty for not having invited our families," said Jisung, although secretly he was glad to have this time alone and unchaperoned, and the ambiguity of their relationship was of such a nature that nobody questioned their going alone, or even suggested a chaperone. That in itself felt greatly rebellious, although Jisung logically knew that even  _ he _ had no idea of Mr Hyunjin's own regard for him, which, if different from Jisung's present infatuation, would render Jisung himself feeling incredibly foolish.

"I hope that you do not think me silly for this, but I do not," Mr Hyunjin confessed openly, and Jisung's heart leapt, and he hoped that the redness undoubtedly coating his cheeks could be put down to the sun casting its glorious heat down upon them, and nothing else. "I do so love spending time with everybody as a group, but at the same time I have enjoyed our little time alone together today immensely. Here, I do not have to vye for your attention among your own and my own brothers."

"Oh?" Jisung mumbled, and hoped that he could be heard. "But you never have to vye for my attention."

"I think that I do, and often at that - everybody likes to speak to you, and with good reason too," Mr Hyunjin said breezily, and Jisung wondered how he could speak so casually on a matter that had his heart reacting so wildly. "You are great company, so it is no surprise. But today, I have you to myself, as selfish or indulgent as that may sound."

"You speak very plainly," Jisung commented, and Mr Hyunjin laughed, pulling some grass out of the ground next to their blanket and throwing it into the air like confetti. Jisung watched as it rained back down upon him, little strands of green sticking atop his head like a crown and dusting his shoulders like green snowfall.

"I do not believe in hiding such things," Mr Hyunjin said then, and at once Jisung was left feeling very confused indeed. Hiding  _ what _ , exactly? - He dared not ask. Whilst he had been very open and plain in his words just now, surely he meant that he did not wish to hide  _ anything...? _ In which case Jisung had been feeling foolishly that his feelings may have been returned, when Mr Hyunjin did not return them at all - in being open, he might have mentioned such regard by now. But he had been so complimentary in his countenance and words... he really did not know what to think at all.

The rest of the picnic passed in a lovely daze clouded by an element of confusion that did not seem to leave Jisung's mind for the rest of the day. He was glad that he could go home to his brothers at the end of the day and ask them of their own opinions, for currently he had no idea what to think - so for now, he pushed every contrasting thought to the back of his mind so that he might enjoy the picnic a little more, without the added weight of the unknown plaguing what may never happen again.

Mr Hyunjin had indeed brought a lovely spread with him: little sandwiches prepared by the servants in the great kitchens of Evergreen Manor before his departure were packed with assorted edible berries, and jellies and meats. There was no shortage of sweets such as cakes or biscuits either, and the two even ventured into the farthest trees from their field in order to snatch an apple or two from the branches there, finding the fruits to be beautifully sweet and crisp.

The events themselves were just as pleasant as the food too, and the two spent the rest of the afternoon in high spirits indeed: they played frisbee for a while before the sun got unbearably hot, making them take refuge beneath one of the lining trees as they drank from containers of water that had turned warm from the day's temperature, but was refreshing and hydrating nonetheless. One of the fruits that Mr Hyunjin's servants had packed for their meal was watermelon, and Jisung in particular took great joy in nibbling at his slices in place of drinking plain water itself, finding it much more refreshing and enjoyable in food form. Mr Hyunjin slipped him pieces of his own portion when Jisung was not looking, secretly delighting in the pleased noises Jisung would make as he ate, and the comments that his family did not often buy watermelon - and who was Mr Hyunjin but an avid indulger of the younger man? Indeed he could not resist, and would not leave Jisung in any form of wanting as much as he could help.

He had no idea of the confusion in which his earlier statement had left Jisung feeling, and if he had been enlightened then perhaps he would have put an end to Jisung's suffering at once - but alas, he was unaware, and so the blissful ignorance planted a small seed of angst within Jisung's mind. But it did not taint their day in any way, and the two stayed out for as long as they could manage, before reluctantly packing away the picnic basket and mounting their horses just an hour before sundown, leaving time to deliver Jisung back to his own home grounds before Mr Hyunjin would then walk back to Evergreen Manor with both of his horses in tow - the journey would take a great while on foot, and so they had to be time-savvy and mindful of daylight duration.

"Thank you for today, sir," Jisung thanked Hyunjin as he dismounted at the Kim household, and movement within the windows caught his eye - his brothers were gathered in the summer parlour, where they would likely be sitting after dinner to relax and talk. No doubt they could see himself and Mr Hyunjin from their seats, but whether they were actively watching, Jisung admittedly knew not. He was not about to look in and find out - not with Mr Hyunjin still with him. "It has been lovely... I have not had so much fun in weeks."

"Then I am immensely glad to have provided such pleasure," Mr Hyunjin bowed low, and then took Jisung's hand, pressing a chaste kiss to his fingers. "Will I see you soon?"

"You know where to find me," Jisung smiled, and Mr Hyunjin smiled back, stepping away and taking both horses' reins in hand before he began walking away, a soft  _ farewell _ making its way over his shoulder as he did so. Jisung stood on the gravel path watching him leave until he could no longer see him, and then he spun around immediately, eyes latching straight on to the window connecting the outside paths to the summer parlour - where indeed, his brothers were none-too-subtly watching him with laughter in their eyes. He growled jokingly, although they could not see him, and ran inside at once, eager to discuss the day's events with them.

Changbin was on his back as soon as he entered, hooting and hollering so loudly that no one would have been surprised for Mr Kim himself, who usually occupied a room at the other end of their house, should come into the room asking for the source and cause of the racket.

At once his brothers began clamouring and begging to know of how his day was, and what had happened, for of course they had witnessed the kiss that Jisung had been left with, and itched to know more on the nature of their relationship: had something been established that day? They would only find out through Jisung himself.

"It was a lovely day indeed, but it has left me rather confused," Jisung revealed, and sank down into a seat beside Changbin and Chan. Seungmin and Jeongin sat opposite him, sprawled out lazily on their own couch in an attempt to cool down, for the evening heat was pleasant yet slightly unbearable in its humidity. Each gentleman knew that he would be sleeping with his windows open tonight in the hopes of a breath of mercy from the heat outside.

"Then tell us about it, pray!" Chan insisted, all too ready to listen and offer any kind of insight that he could offer. The rest of his brothers nodded in emphasis.

And so Jisung did: he relayed the day's events to his brothers, leaving out nothing at all, from start to finish - and once he had finished he reiterated Mr Hyunjin's words about openness and not believing in hiding anything back to them, and begged that they analyse the situation for him, for he himself had already thought about it so much that everything had warped itself quite out of proper sense.

"That is confusing indeed... at the end of the day - literally - Mr Hyunjin  _ did _ leave you with a hand kiss, which must count for something, surely," Changbin offered, resting his chin in cupped hands. "That was surely not platonic."

"You say that, but he was not so open at all in any other way leading up to it - what if the kiss was simply a good note to end the day on, or he was feeling a bout of fondness or happiness after the fun we had today? It is not uncommon to suddenly feel a bout of affection for someone, be it platonic or romantic, and without his admitting to its nature we have no way of telling," Jisung fretted, and as if sensing his distress, the new family cat - Ophelia was her name, and she was a beautiful creature of white, grey and orange - entered the room silently, and leapt onto Jisung's lap with an indignant  _ meow _ .

"Ophelia thinks that you are overthinking this greatly," Seungmin quipped, and Jeongin laughed loudly.

"I agree with Ophelia - indeed you are overanalysing this into microscopic counterparts and possibilities," Jeongin added, "I am sure that the answers to your questions will be much more straightforward. Will not you simply ask him? Communication is always the answer, no matter the nature of your turmoil."

“Wise words from our youngest,” Changbin cried, and crossed the room to rub his hands over Jeongin’s hair, delighting in the annoyed cry Jeongin let out at the feeling of his hair being roughly mussed. 

“You are right,” Jisung agreed finally, and stroked Ophelia all the way from her dear little head to her long tail with an air of finality and decidedness. “I should not think about it so much: whatever will happen, will happen. I will not think about it for a while now.” 

And indeed he did not: he left it until after Jeongin and Mr Felix’s wedding, which was upcoming shortly, to think about the matter again: he would not like to strain the family friendship if he revealed his romantic feelings too early, and got rejected in the process.

  
  
  


He was entirely unaware of the way that Mr Hyunjin’s own heart had beat almost out of his chest when he had kissed Jisung’s hand, nor the way that he was now completely decided and in the know of his being very much in love with the younger man. But, just like Jisung, Mr Hyunjin decided to act after Felix and Mr Jeongin’s wedding, which was drawing closer by the hour, so as to not get in the way of everything.

  
  


Perhaps waiting would become their biggest downfall.

  
  


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All at once Felix and Jeongin’s wedding passed without a hitch: it was a beautiful day, and one beholding every happy wish and emotion, as well as some bittersweet tears thrown into the mix as a consequence of both Mr Felix and Jeongin himself, the youngest of the Kim family, moving away to Camellia Estate - impeccable grounds entailed by birth to Mr Felix - and their goodbyes were full of well-wishes and scattered flower petals used as confetti to shower the newlyweds with. After that everything returned a little more to normal, and Jisung began to think more of what he should do regarding his feelings for Mr Hyunjin. Perhaps things would be easier if he could talk to the gentleman about his own opinions on courting, and matrimony, but how can one bring up such a subject without seeming as if they are experimenting for their own selfish purposes? No, he would have to come up with another way before he acted any further. 

Hyunjin, on the other hand, was more than prepared to confess: he did not see the point of waiting, and now that he had realised his feelings he wanted nothing more than for them to be out in the open, so that he could then either move on from this new territory of  _ feelings _ if he were rejected, or simply  _ not waste more time _ if his feelings were to be returned. To him, it was a foolproof plan, but one thing that he did not factor into it was his own cowardice - something he might have considered earlier if he had had any experience in love before this one. 

Every day that he could, he visited the Kim residence to visit Mr Jisung, and there they spent many hours in company that was ever so slightly charged, and full of lingering gazes and the occasional brush of hands that sent both hearts aflutter like nightingales, but every time Hyunjin made to open his mouth and convey his feelings into words they would get stuck, as if they built up and up and up and right as they were about to break free they stuck together in a sticky wad of difficulty that glued his throat shut tight. 

It felt impossible.

And  _ then _ , Hyunjin deemed - stupidly, admittedly, and this was a very foolish move - it appropriate to put his feelings on hold once more as Minho and Mr Seungmin’s feelings began to finally come into light, for he felt that the two of them deserved even more support than he had given to Felix and Mr Jeongin, considering their incredibly rocky start to their friendship, and then, their marriage. 

But on Minho and Mr Seungmin’s wedding night, something changed.

Hyunjin did not know  _ what _ exactly changed - but the air betwixt himself and Mr Jisung felt inexplicably different. He could not for the life of him work it out - but he felt that it was a good change, and although the wedding party was incomplete without the grooms, for they had left early for their honeymoon, he felt that there was certainly enough love being expressed from himself to Mr Jisung to sufficiently make up for the loss of the newlyweds. 

The delight he took in the feeling of Mr Jisung refilling his plate at the dinner-table without prompting, and the way Mr Jisung took extra care to listen to  _ him _ above everyone else, and laughed at his jokes that he felt were not nearly as funny as everyone else’s most of the time, filled his heart with adoration, to the point that he felt almost frustrated at social etiquette, and their own lack of romantic involvement as of yet, for restraining Hyunjin of the ability to wrap his arms around Mr Jisung, and squeeze him in an affectionate embrace until he felt that the extent of his feelings had been sufficiently communicated. 

To his credit, Jisung did not feel much different - the butterflies that filled his stomach at the sight of Mr Hyunjin’s joy manifesting in happy crescents whenever Jisung laughed at his jokes, and how when Mr Hyunjin  _ himself _ laughed at  _ Jisung’s _ jokes he would momentarily lay a hand on Jisung’s knee before pulling away quickly, as if he had realised only too late what he had done, filled him with enough hope to last him for years. That night both men really did feel as though they had enough adrenaline and courage within them to confess to each other ten times over -- but how could they, on their own respective brothers’ wedding night? It would be wholly and disgustingly inappropriate, and so with difficulty they refrained.

However, it did not stop either gentleman from going to bed that night with renewed hope and vigour, and it felt as if somehow, they had  _ already _ conveyed their feelings to one another through sheer non-verbal communication.

And perhaps, in a way, they had.

*･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿ ✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･*

From there their days began to get busier, and as painful as it was to not see each other every day as they were used to, the two spent two weeks apart: Felix and Mr Jeongin had written to invite Hyunjin to stay with them awhile at Camellia Estate, and with no invitation for the remaining Kim brethren, although they were indeed the brothers of one of the Estate’s owners, they could not go with Hyunjin until they themselves received invitation. 

Nevertheless it did not dampen anyone’s mood one jot: Hyunjin had such a fantastic time with Mr Jeongin and Felix that he quite forgot about any of his woes for the majority of his time there, although he did long to get back sometimes, so that he might sit down with Mr Jisung and tell him all about it. Indeed, he would tell him at the nearest opportunity. 

“We are adopting soon,” Mr Jeongin told Hyunjin at dinner one evening, and Hyunjin almost dropped his cutlery in shock and elation.

“Is this really so? Oh, when?” he cried, and Felix laughed. 

“The documents are taking a while. But within a month or so, we shall have our own child to care for -- a baby, who is, as of now, just a few weeks old. We are going to visit her in the morning, at the orphanage in which we are adopting her from - would you like to come with us and visit her too? You will be the first of her uncles to do so.”

“I should love that more than anything in the world,” said Hyunjin, and his eyes filled with joyful tears. “I am very happy for you both.”

The next day as promised they left early, every gentleman eager to see the child again, and arguably Hyunjin moreso than the actual parents-to-be, which amused Felix and Mr Jeongin greatly. When they arrived Hyunjin begged to hold her, and his wish was easily granted, and he stood cradling the tiny bundle of blonde-haired life with the utmost care and wonder, gazing in wonder as her little hand reached out and grabbed his finger, and gasping softly as she did so.

“She is holding my finger,” he whispered, and Mr Jeongin chuckled. 

“She likes you.”

“What will you name her?”

“We are still undecided,” Felix said, “but we hope that upon spending more time with her, the name will come to us naturally before her adoption. She was left at the orphanage without a name, so we are free to choose as we please.”

“She is perfect,” Hyunjin whispered still, as if raising his voice even more would break the tiny baby, and her future parents nodded adoringly. “And she will have the best parents, I am sure. Oh, how happy I am for you!” 

“Jisung will surely be scandalised when he finds out that somebody else saw her before he did,” Mr Jeongin chuckled, “for out of all of my brothers I can say with certainty that he is the most fond of babies and children. You will have to tell him all about it when next you see him, to make sure he knows everything he should wish to know.”

_ I will tell him everything, _ Hyunjin thought to himself determinedly, and tried to commit every aspect of his niece’s face to memory so that he might better describe it to Mr Jisung when next he came. 

And perhaps the thought of Mr Jisung himself holding her crossed his mind -- perhaps, just perhaps, the idea of their own future looking something like this, with Mr Jisung by his side, crossed his mind. And he did not push the idea away - rather, he longed for the possibility that it might come true. 

Only time would tell. But for now, he lived in the moment, and enjoyed the little time with his unnamed niece, and watched Felix and Mr Jeongin fawn over her when he handed her back to them.

  
  


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It had not been two days since Hyunjin’s return to Maplebrook that his mother told him the news.

“We are moving away soon, Hyunjin,” Mrs Lee informed him over a china cup of herbal tea, “within the month, in fact.”

Hyunjin was certain that his heart should drop into the depths of the earth at his mother’s announcement. Surely, he had misheard… “Pray, could you repeat that?”

“We are moving away this month, out of the countryside,” said she, “for we have business in town that would be highly benefited by our staying within arm’s reach of it.”

“Surely you jest… please, please let it not be so,” Hyunjin practically begged, already prepared to drop to the floor and plead. Moving away into town? That would be a journey that spanned many days before they would reach their other home… surely, he should be able to stay in the countryside here, on his own?

“May I stay here, instead? I have no personal business in town, surely it would be counterproductive to attend.”

Mrs Lee looked as if Hyunjin had suggested he abandon the family and take their whole fortune with him: her jaw dropped, and she looked positively aghast at the very idea.

“No indeed, why would you say such a thing?” she flapped her hands in an aggressive manner as she spoke, and her cheeks flushed an angry red. “You shall come with us. You may be nearing twenty-two years old now, but until you marry you shall obey my rules. Besides, your father will not spare you for so long: he insists on your coming as well.”

Hyunjin flushed, and nodded his head in solemn resignation. “Yes, mother.”

Now posed the pressing question: how on earth would he keep in touch with Mr Jisung? Hyunjin had no motives whatsoever to lose him, not after they had become so close - but in this day and age it was almost impossible to write to one of whom you held romantic regard but were not yet engaged to: it was not proper, and word would spread immediately, leading people to believe that you were engaged to your letter recipient. 

Hyunjin thought back to when Felix and Mr Jeongin had been courting, and how Felix had meant to send Mr Jeongin letters every day when the Kim family went away to DIscidium Bay. Many events had taken place that had prevented him from doing so, but he had still left Mr Jeongin with the promise of letters despite them not having been engaged at that present time - surely, it should not matter if he were to do the same for Mr Jisung?

“Then I shall write to Mr Jisung instead, when I cannot visit him directly,” he decided aloud, and Mrs Lee nodded in approval.

“I doubt that I could stop you if I tried.”

  
  


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The Lee family moved out in the next possible instance. Within a fortnight they were packed and leaving, and Hyunjin found himself with barely enough time to say goodbye to Mr Jisung, with whom he deemed no amount of time sufficient to say so. Within the first few days of settling down in their new, lavish home in London - and indeed, it was even more excessive than Evergreen Mansion, which most would have deemed insurmountable - he wrote to Mr Jisung at once, feeling his friend’s loss keenly in a form of heartfelt yearning that he had never before deemed humanly possible to feel.

_ Dear Mr Jisung, _

_ How utterly boring London is! I shall get straight to the point: perhaps it is the loss of you and your family’s wonderful company to keep me grounded and sane, but every day is dragging by at such a dreadful pace. Oftentimes I will wake up and think to myself, I shall visit Mr Jisung today! And then I remember that we are miles and days and miles away from one another, and that in itself renders my day horrid. _

_ I can imagine your expression as you read this: I can hear you calling me dramatic and fitful. I must agree with whatever judgement you insist on passing upon me, for it is all correct: and you, my favourite worst critic, have every right to say so.  _

_ Anyway - look at me, all melancholy to start off this letter with! I beg your forgiveness, and now let us move on to lighter topics, so that we will not end this letter on a sad note. Father’s business here is thriving, and although we are no longer living anywhere so picturesque as the dear countryside, London does have its fair share of attractions: I was lucky enough to see the opera last night, and it was captivating indeed; her voice so soulful and all-consuming! You should have loved it, I daresay, the great lover of music that you are. _

_ And the horses! London is full of them - all pulling carriages, of course, but I have never seen so many in one place apart from the great stables themselves. Every time I see one I think to myself, ah, Mr Jisung would love to see so many! I must bring him here at the nearest opportunity. _

_ What say you? We have guests at present, but once mother stops inviting her seemingly endless amounts of friends to stay here with us, I beg that you consider being our next invitee. Mr Changbin can come, too, and we could even see about upending Felix and Minho from their own married lives, and see if they can bring Mr Seungmin and Mr Jeongin with them, and reunite as we were before! And Mr Chan must bring Mrs Yeji, too. Indeed it is a long shot that we would all be able to be together at once, but I render it possible by writing it down here. Eventually we will find a way! _

_ Regretfully, I have not the time to continue this letter, for today I will be occupied with more visitors to make polite smalltalk with, and after that there will be a picnic held in the park near the town centre, which is surrounded with industrial roads and carriages; nothing like the rolling fields that we ourselves picnicked in a while ago.  _

_ I hope that you are having more fun than I am! How are your fencing lessons going? -- indeed, you shall have to teach me a little next time we see each other. Perhaps finally I shall best Felix in our next fight!  _

_ Sincerely and devotedly, _

_ Hyunjin. _

  
  


As he handed his letter to the butler so that it could be sent away within the hour, Hyunjin felt a strange sort of excitement building within his chest: yes, he knew very well what their neighbours, and even the house staff, may be thinking at his sending letters to another. The idea of the public speculating on his doings and guessing that he might be  _ engaged _ to Mr Jisung sent sparks of delight fizzing throughout his being, no matter how he himself knew that any rumours of the sort would be entirely untrue. 

Perhaps, in coming to London - in some sick way - it allowed Hyunjin to live out an internal fantasy that he had been thinking about for a long while now. However, it did mean his separation from Mr Jisung, and that he would never wish in a million years for.

He received a letter back from Mr Jisung the next week, which was as fast as a response  _ could _ be expected when one lives days and days worth of travel from the other. . 

  
  


_ Dear Mr Hyunjin,  _

_ I do wonder at your calling London  _ boring _. I have heard many a story of the wonders of the city, and should be glad to visit if ever the opportunity arises. The opera, indeed! - i am glad that you enjoyed it. I admit I have never heard opera singing before, and wonder at what it sounds like. People describe it as being very high-pitched - surely, it would get uncomfortable to listen to? Is it terribly shriek-like, or scream-like? Or is it something entirely different? _

_ Indeed you  _ are _ dramatic. We miss you too, but I hope that you are not letting our loss get in the way of your enjoying life as is. This is a very beneficial opportunity for you to learn and experience new things; please do not let the loss of our frequent meetings stand in the way of that! I should be very glad to visit you at the nearest opportunity, and Changbin too - but until we meet again, keep living to the fullest, and use me as an excuse to do so if you so wish -- so that you will have to tell me all about it in your letters!  _

_ The arrival of your letter caused quite a stir within the household, as I am sure you had already been aware of its implications. At once my mother demanded to know whether we were hiding some form of engagement or romantic promise from her - and of course I told her that we had not. It was quite the day in the Kim household, and now I am sure that the entire town heard her screaming and are now aware of it too. It is of no matter - our business is nobody’s but our own, and the misunderstandings make for very amusing conversations indeed. _

_ My fencing has been improving greatly, I am glad to say! Yesterday Changbin and I went into town for another session, and met with RIchard there -- I am becoming increasingly able to best him, even when he no longer plays easy to beat. I like it when he plays  _ properly _ , and does not try to stage my wins at all - I feel powerful then, when I can truly beat him once and for all. Changbin, too, is improving, and plans to join the militia soon, so we are making the most of every opportunity to spend time together whilst he is still at home. _

_ To think that soon I shall be the only son left at home, with the rest married off and Changbin in the regiment! With no estate entailed to me, I shall be stuck at home until I can marry - which is no bad thing, but I dread my days growing lonely, I will admit to that. But enough of that - for now, the days are lively and good, and I have you to write to as well. I have nothing to resent!  _

_ Tomorrow Changbin and I plan to take the carriage into town, and meet with Misses Jisu and Yuna for tea, for it has been so long since we have seen them. I look forward to seeing them again and hearing their stories. _

_ Wishing you the best. _

_ Sincerely, _

_ Jisung. _

  
  


Perhaps it was the blatant hint that the entire town of Maplebrook thought wrongly that Hyunjin was engaged to Mr Jisung through the tell of their sending letters to one another, but his heart pounded as he read the letter, and he was glad that he had taken it back up to his bedchambers to read it, for he could feel his cheeks heating up beyond comprehension as his eyes skimmed over the words. Mr Jisung had addressed the matter so blatantly, and yet had left no tellings of whether or not he  _ supported _ the idea. His feelings on the matter were infuriatingly neutral in writing, and not for the first time, Hyunjin wished that he could have had this conversation with Mr Jisung himself, so that he might draw what he needed from Mr Jisung’s facial tells and body language.

It was then that he took it upon himself to think, and think hard. 

If the idea of engagement to Mr Jisung was having such a profound effect on him, then there was no doubt whatsoever that his feelings were much stronger than he originally had thought. The saying  _ distance makes the heart grow fonder _ resonated with the young gentleman in that moment, albeit making him feel a little frustrated as well that he  _ should _ be forced to spend so much time apart from Mr Jisung. Sighing, he walked over to his window and looked out of it - the streets of London had replaced the rolling hills of Maplebrook, and although it held striking, smoky beauty in its own way, Hyunjin almost resented the lack of real fresh air and open planes. 

His whole life, Hyunjin had almost shunned the idea of matrimony and true love. He did not believe that such a thing as lifelong love could exist: why should he waste his time on trying to achieve it? He had always thought that it would be best to find out as little of your marriage partner’s personality before your union, and hope that one would strike lucky every once in a while, and end up happily with them. It did not mean that he did not support his brothers and friends in their own pursuit of true love, of course; he was every bit as happy for them as he could ever be. But for himself, it always seemed too unrealistic, and too far-fetched to achieve.

In all honesty, Hyunjin had expected to be told to marry by his parents, and had planned to simply succumb to those wishes and be wedded to their first choice. No fuss or stress, simple and straightforward. Although he had established that he wanted to confess to Mr Jisung at the nearest available opportunity, and had even gone so far as to entertain imagining a future with him, it was only  _ now _ that the  _ true _ weight of his feelings finally seemed to hit him, and he fought the urge to gasp aloud. He sat down quickly on his bed, and clutched his racing heart through his clothes. Or - perhaps he had already realised the extent, and was simply realising it again? Is this what love is truly like? It made him feel heady and dizzy, but not in a bad way - no, rather a very  _ good _ way, and the only way he could have improved it is if he could have shared the feeling in person with the very man who had caused it all in the first place.

Now, after seeing Felix and the Kim family uniting in marriage, and seeing how utterly in love Felix was with Mr Jeongin, he began to crave the openness that Felix had himself, and wished on every star that he could possibly find that there might be somebody out there like that for himself… Jisung, actually, fulfilled that mould of a wish down to the last hair on his head. 

Perhaps simply Hyunjin missing the facial expressions, laughter and general atmosphere that came only with seeing Mr Jisung in  _ person _ \- not  _ just _ his words, although they in themselves did hold an air of his general countenance, regardless, spoke entirely for itself.

  
  
  


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Soon, Hyunjin had been in London for  _ months _ \- six of them, to be precise, and yet the guests staying at their home never ceased in their extensivity, and so he never received the chance to write to Mr Jisung specifically asking for his presence in London, either. It was a fate he was handed cruelly, and suffered greatly from, but of course it did not prevent him from enjoying his life there - instead, he simply felt a little loss every day, some days more than others, in which he would long to share his experiences with someone; a certain someone of smaller stature and round cheeks and eyes that held a certain warmth that Hyunjin felt he could replace with the sun and survive very happily off. 

Of course, nobody else knew about the depth of his feelings, and the mere  _ existence _ of them were merely speculated upon, for he had never really felt the need to vocalise them to anybody after figuring them out himself, so of course it should never have come as a surprise when his mother began to press potential marriage partners upon him one morning, at the breakfast-table. Their last guests, a family of friends of Mrs Lee’s, had just left yesterday, and they were expecting more to come overmorrow, and so thankfully Hyunjin did not have to suffer through the matter of his marital life being made public.

“Your brother and Felix are both married and away now, Hyunjin,” she started, looking pointedly at her only unmarried son over her eggs, and Hyunjin slumped minutely in his seat, saving himself from sighing aloud at the last minute. “I would have thought that you would have followed in their footsteps by now.”

“Mother, it has not even been a year since Felix and Mr Jeongin wed, and they were the first,” he returned instead, trying with all of his might to not sound whiny or annoyed. 

“Indeed, and then Minho followed a few months later. You have never been  _ romantic _ , so to say - have you not always said that you would marry the first person we chose for you, with little argument?” 

Hyunjin’s little sister, Chumni, who was staying with them in London for a while instead of away with her governess for a while, grimaced into her breakfast. For a young girl of just fifteen, soon to be sixteen, she possessed great wisdom, and could already foresee this conversation potentially ending badly.

“In the past I have thought that way, yes,” Hyunjin tried, but he was then interrupted by his father.

“I have been talking to a family from around here who have a daughter who is exactly your age, son, with only a few months separating you. Their family is of wealth and good status, and I was going to ask soon of our offering your hand to her.” He spoke around a mouthful of toast, and as he moved the hand holding the rest of the slice he sent crumbs flying everywhere, landing in the folds of his cravat messily. Hyunjin shook his head.

“I appreciate the gesture. But… as of recently, it seems that I  _ have _ become romantic, so to say.”

Chumni’s head shot up, and she stared at Hyunjin with excitement brimming in her eyes. “Oh, brother, pray tell me who it is! I long to know.”

Today had not been a day that Hyunjin had expected to have to vocalise the feelings that had been occupying his entire being for the past year or so now, but he supposed it was just as well, for every truth would out eventually. “It is -- well, it is Mr Jisung of the Kim family.”

The table was silent for a moment, before Chumni let out a sound of pure delight, and his parents gasped in unreadable emotion. 

“Oh, and Mr Jisung is such a dear fellow! Another of the Kim brethren - how I love that family so.”

“Son, are you…  _ sure _ ?” Mr Lee asked, his face still unreadable. Mrs Lee had frozen in place with her teacup halfway to her lips. “Another of the Kims? All three of our sons to three of them?”

Of course, Felix was not a biological son of the Lee’s, but he was counted as such without question.

“It is a great coincidence indeed…” Hyunjin rubbed the back of his neck, and laughed quietly. “But I cannot help it. I  _ have _ not been able to help it, for as long as I can remember.”

“They are a dear family, although they are not of much wealth, and their status is  _ pleasant _ at best,” Mrs Lee pondered, and put her teacup back down on the table, the fine china making a small  _ clink _ ing sound as she did so. “But this boy… he changed your mind about love? You no longer snub the idea of lifelong love in matrimony?”

“I… I do not,” Hyunjin confessed, and again, little Chumni made a sound of joy at his words. He paused to smile at her before he went on. “I never thought it possible, but my views and opinions on the matter are quite changed since meeting him. I did think that it should fade with our separation, but… it seems my feelings have only swelled. I love him, mother, with all of my heart.”

“Distance does indeed make the heart grow fonder, when the circumstances are right,” Mrs Lee agreed, and then she smiled, and Hyunjin relaxed. “Very well. The Kim family are indeed pleasantness itself - I would not be unhappy to give my son away to another one of their sons. As long as you are happy.”

  
  


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Hyunjin’s shot at happiness arrived much faster than he could have ever hoped.

The next day he received a letter from Mr Jisung - one that made his heart sing. The date written on the top dated it to having been written two weeks ago, and he realised that the letter had been misdirected at first, which explained the week of silence that he had been sitting through thus far. 

_ Dear Mr Hyunjin  _ [the letter read], 

_ Although you are most likely aware of this already, I bring good news! Jeongin and Mr Felix have finally adopted their dear little baby, and say that I must visit as soon as I can to meet her. Their description matches what you have told me perfectly, and I long to hold her, and dote on her. Babies are the most wonderful beings to hold and cuddle with, for they are so sweet - I miss the days when my dear cousins lived closer to Maplebrook, for in my early teenage years they had babies of their own, and I would run to their house at every available opportunity to hold them and feed them. _

_ I do not yet know when I will visit Camellia Estate, but I suppose that I shall know by the time your next letter arrives, and so I shall reply to yours with the information. Camellia Estate is only a day or so from London, as opposed to Maplebrook being four days away - perhaps you could visit Camellia too!  _

_ I have not much news apart from that - the baby news has completely consumed my being and mind, and I can hardly think of anything else. Oh - mother is thinking of adopting a cat soon. After Seungmin and Mr Minho took Ophelia to their own home - rightly so as well, as the cat is theirs after all - our once-reluctant mother now misses a feline presence in the house, and should like to get one at the nearest opportunity. I recommended a tabby cat, for ginger cats are so dear! But Changbin wanted a black one, and I doubt that mother will take either of our preferences into serious consideration in the long run. Still, I am very excited to have a pet again.  _

_ What is new in your life, sir? I do miss you so, and I will admit that these six months of not seeing you have been rather hard. I thought at first that it would get easier with time, but - and excuse me if this is at all inappropriate to say - every passing day makes me grow more frustrated with the distance, and I long more than anything to be able to see your face again as you talk, instead of having to imagine what expressions and tones you are using as you write down things instead. Hopefully soon we shall reunite and be stronger than ever! _

_ I hope to hear back from you soon again - tell me about the new things and experiences in your life, I long to hear them all! _

_ All the best, _

_ Jisung. _

  
  


Hyunjin had sat down at once to respond to the letter, and sent it away within the hour - indeed, his handwriting had looked rushed and a little shaky but he could not stand to wait a moment longer to write back. The sooner he wrote back, the sooner he would receive another letter! The latest one, however, he then slid into his bedside drawer, where the rest of Mr Jisung’s letters were meticulously kept, and weighed the pile down with a glass paper-weight that he intended to give to Mr Jisung the next time he saw him. He would not risk sending it in the post, for it was fragile in its beauty, and for now it served a beautiful purpose of keeping Mr Jisung’s letters orderly and safe from any winds blowing through the open window whenever Hyunjin decided to reopen the drawer and reread a letter or two.

He wondered if Mr Jisung kept his letters too.

Hyunjin longed to know when Mr Jisung would be staying with Mr Felix and Jeongin, so that he could write and beg their hospitality too, and hopefully make it in time to catch Mr Jisung before he left again -- this time, he was absolutely determined to confess and propose. He felt like he could barely spend another day without him.

Perhaps his longing finally manifested physically, too, as the next day as he sat down to breakfast after a long night’s sleep, he was greeted with news that shook him to the core.

“Ah, Felix has mentioned in his letter that Mr Jisung is currently staying at Camellia Estate with himself and Mr Jeongin. How pleasant for them all - I do wonder if his other unmarried brother, Mr Changbin, will be with them too, for I sorely doubt that he will be left at home alone without another brother if they can both help it.”

Hyunjin startled at the mention of Mr Jisung’s name, and dropped his spoon into his china cup wherein he was stirring his tea. The breakfast table jolted in surprise, and everybody was torn from their morning activities to look at him, aghast.

Mr Jisung, staying somewhere that was so much closer to Hyunjin’s own place of living… Finally, there was a chance that he could ride out to visit him. What had previously been a week’s entire journey had diminished to just one day, and Hyunjin could bear it no longer. Mr Jisung was so close, yet so untouchably far… it would do for no longer. He felt tears begin to well in his eyes as he stood from his seat at the table, yet again drawing the attention of his family, and announced his immediate departure, leaving no room for argument.

“It will be no more,” Hyunjin cried, “It will be no more! I  _ cannot _ bear it any longer. I will ride to him this very day; I cannot bear it. Fetch my horse.”

And indeed, his journey took an entire day of riding, only stopping once so that his horse might rest a little, before he rode on and on into the darkness - only to finally arrive at Camellia Estate in the early hours of the morning, wherein he felt as though he should collapse from sheer exhaustion and rest deprivation. If this was how  _ he _ felt, then he could only imagine how his horse was feeling - and so, lucky to see that the servants of the Estate were already awake and working, he led his horse to the stables, where the tired animal was met with a stableboy who led him to some hay and water. 

Immediately Hyunjin turned heel and ran, looking for a way into the Estate itself - for with no warning letter, it was not as if Felix nor Mr Jeongin were expecting him, although he did not doubt that they would welcome him with open arms. Not to sound dismissive, but he could barely care of their reactions nor welcoming nature for the time being: not when he was being driven so mad with longing for Mr Jisung - he was the only person Hyunjin wanted to see at the moment, yet at the crack of dawn he was hardly likely to be awake; none of the household were, for that matter. 

He was indeed lucky that the servants knew him by name, or else he may have been rejected from the Estate altogether, and told to return later when their masters could identify him, which would never do. Hyunjin was quite sure he would explode if he were to be told that after everything he had been through these past few months, and now days. 

“Mr Hyunjin,” one of the head servants called suddenly from a window, and the shock in her voice was evident. “Whatever are you doing here?”

“I am here to enquire after the masters of this good Estate,” he jested, and she smiled, rushing downstairs to let him in.

“You must be freezing, for it is still so early in the morning - here, let us make you a drink of something warm,” she insisted, and with no knowledge of either Felix, nor Mr Jeongin or Mr Jisung being awake he had no choice but to follow.

“I do apologise, but know you of around what time the rest of the household typically awakens?” he asked, and the servant took his coat as he spoke, bading him to sit down in a comfortable seat as she returned to the kitchens to fetch his drink.

“It has not reached six hours yet, sir, and breakfast is usually served at ten - I know not when my masters will rise, for I do not work in that part of the house,” she apologised, and then left to make his beverage. Hyunjin nodded to himself, and looked out of the window as dawn began to paint the sky in luxurious colours of fluffy purples and yellows. 

“If you please, sir, let one of the other servants lead you to a room. Surely you have been travelling all night, and must be tired: perhaps it would be best to rest until the young masters themselves have awoken. You know by now that there will hardly be a problem in providing you a room to stay in.”

Hyunjin thought for a moment, not wanting to sleep for a single second until he could see Mr Jisung again, but logically he knew that it would be hours still until any of his friends would be up and dressed, and so with reluctance he nodded and allowed himself to be led upstairs, where he flopped down on his new bed after having the servant promise to awaken him at the nearest opportunity: at the first signs of stirring from any of the adjoining rooms. She nodded in response, and promised that she would; and Hyunjin let himself fall into a light slumber full of hope and what-ifs.

  
  


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When Jisung awoke that morning, it was to the sunlight filtering through the window and concentrating in a vexingly bright line right onto his face. He scowled at it, and sat up, hair wild and untamed, and threw his legs over the side of the bed, so that he might open the curtains fully and gaze upon the new day outside. He did so, and was greeted with the pleasant chirrup of birds when he opened the window a little to allow fresh air in: immediately his initial annoyance faded away and he allowed himself a sleep-ridden smile. 

Whether Jeongin and Mr Felix were awake yet mattered not: before breakfast he aimed to take a walk around the grounds to build up a good appetite and start the day off right. Perhaps he would also visit the stables and visit the horses there too, if he managed to swipe an apple or two from the kitchen-servants beforehand. 

At once he dressed hastily, and was out of his bedchambers before the minute-hand could stretch to ten minutes past the hour. He felt now that he had fully settled into the Estate, and knew the staff to sufficiently act like himself around the place, and so he wasted no time in bidding a cheerful good-morning to everybody he came across as he made his way downstairs, and out of the door. He did not notice the one servant who startled when she saw him, and ran away back upstairs at once, nor did he question it. 

The morning outside felt pleasantly fresh and crisp; the air held a certain moisture to it that made one feel refreshed instead of clammy, and the trees whispered a shushed greeting to Jisung as he meandered through them aimlessly. A glance at his bedside clock before he had left his chambers told him that it was only around eight o’clock in the morning, so he had ample time to walk about and spend his morning in comfortable solitude before he had to be back inside the Manor for breakfast with his hosts. 

As he passed the stables, he debated entering and greeting the horses there, but for once he decided against it, and instead chose to walk past and into the gardens instead.

If he had chosen to enter, perhaps he might have noticed the new addition to the herd, and began to question the stable-boy as to its owner. Alas, however he did not, and so the majority of his morning was spent in a blissful state of ignorance to Mr Hyunjin’s presence at Camellia Estate.

His peace, however, did not last. He was thinking about what events should occur today, for he longed to see the beach again, and Jeongin had promised to take a ride with him into town for that sole purpose - yes, he was very excited for it. Perhaps Mr Felix would join them too, and the three of them would make a very merry party indeed. 

Jisung did not register the sound of laboured panting drawing closer to him until it was too late: he turned around in shock as a sprinting individual ran straight into him, knocking him back roughly and he lost his balance, stumbling a little before falling onto his behind. He winced, for it did hurt quite a bit, watched as the perpetrator righted himself, pushing his hair out of his face before meeting his eyes-- 

Jisung’s entire world spun to a stop. 

Really, he could not believe his eyes.

“ _ Mr Hyunjin? _ ” he asked incredulously, and before Mr Hyunjin could extend a hand to help him up he pushed himself into rightness again, and once at eye-level with his friend he could only stare in disbelief. “Pray, I must be dreaming. There is no conceivable way that you are here.”

“It is I,” Mr Hyunjin answered with a wide smile, and he pulled him into a tight embrace, unable to help himself - one that JIsung returned with utmost enthusiasm. “But first -- I am so terribly sorry for knocking you over -- I saw you walking, and could not wait to walk over in an orderly way for my enthusiasm. Are you quite alright?”

“Indeed, I am better than I have ever been these past months together,” Jisung assured him, and found that he was telling the entire truth, too. “What is the reason for your visit?”

Mr Hyunjin had the grace to look sheepish, and rubbed his arms as he avoided eye contact. “I -- a few things, really. I had been meaning to visit Felix and Mr Jeongin for a while now, and so when I received a letter from them informing me of your presence not one day from my own lodgings, I knew at once that I had to visit.”

“But I did not know of this? You did not write beforehand?”

“I confess I did not. I --” Mr Hyunjin stopped for a moment, to laugh at himself, and caused Jisung great confusion because of it by the time he started speaking again. “When I received the letter from Felix I set out at once.”

“At once?” They reached a particularly large tree, and Jisung sat down beneath it, beckoning for Mr Hyunjin to join him. “Pray, you did not stop to pack clothes?”

“No sir - none. Although I did stop to notify the breakfast-table: I hope that by now they have collected some of my belongings and sent them after me.”

“Oh - well, Jeongin is around your height, so I am sure that he will not be opposed to your borrowing clothes for today in the meantime.” To Mr Hyunjin’s immense joy, he found no trace of stiltedness in either party, and speaking to Jisung once more felt as natural as the flow and ebb of water in a spring at the hillside. 

“You are right. I should notify them of my presence immediately.”

“They do not know of your presence here either?” Jisung laughed, and Mr Hyunjin smiled with an air of embarrassment about himself. 

  
“Like I said, I came straight here. There was no conceivable way to warn anybody beforehand.”

“We must count ourselves lucky, then, that they are family.”

“Indeed we must.”

With that the two began to walk back inside, and opted to wait for Jeongin and Felix to come downstairs for the day instead of waiting to be found themselves. When their hosts did appear, Mr Felix gasped loudly and ran at full speed towards Mr Hyunjin, who received his embraces with pleasure, and answered every question he had to ask. Jeongin, on the other hand, was a little slower, as he dared not run with his arms full of Chohee - that was the name that both he and his husband had decided on for their daughter. 

Mr Hyunjin was given a change of clothes and then brought back downstairs to join the household for breakfast, and when Jeongin said that he must accompany everyone to the beach, as per their plans for today, there was no objection from anybody - rather, quite the opposite. The only downside to the full day was that Jisung and Mr Hyunjin could not find another single moment alone to talk - and Mr Hyunjin could not confess his love for Jisung because of this. 

That night Jisung lay awake in bed, his mind racing and sprinting and running, and he could find no way at all to silence it: opening the window did not work, nor the feeling of the breeze caressing his face as he let the air come in through it. In the end he decided to take a walk, as nature could always be counted upon to ground him, and decided against wrapping a blanket around his shoulders, simply walking from his bedchambers in nothing but his sleepwear.

At first he simply was going to walk the moonlit grounds and gardens of the estate, but upon turning a corner he realised that he was much less alone than he originally had thought.

There he saw Mr Hyunjin, sitting with his back to a willow tree, head leaned back against it as his eyes stayed closed. Jisung knew not whether he was sleeping, but the steady rise and fall of his chest led him to believe that he was, and so Jisung tried to turn around and slip back inside the Estate unnoticed. Perhaps this was a bad idea after all.

“Mr Jisung?” a voice whispered behind him, and he stopped in his tracks after just three steps back towards the Estate. Jisung’s heartbeat caught in his throat, and he soundlessly turned back around on his heels, finding Mr Hyunjin blinking rapidly up at him, beautifully confused and glowing in the pale moon’s lighting.

“Oh - I did not know that there would be anybody else out this late into the night,” Jisung apologised, feeling incredibly ridiculous in his sleeping-clothes although Mr Hyunjin was wearing the same, although to his credit, Mr Hyunjin did have a thin blanket pulled around his shoulders too. It felt awfully intimate, and Jisung felt guilty, as though he had purposely broken into his bedchambers or something akin to that level of crude and perverse impropriety - which, of course, he would never dream of doing. 

“It is perfectly fine,” Mr Hyunjin replied, his voice still as low as a whisper, and beckoned for Jisung to come and sit beside him by patting the grass next to him. On shaky legs Jisung obliged, and felt as though he should fall instead of sit with the amount of nerves building up within his body. Before this visit he had had no problem with being alone with Mr Hyunjin, but after their separation he felt clumsy and awkward and wanting. “Could not you sleep?”

“No, I could not,” Jisung said quietly. “I am guessing that you were the same?”

“Indeed,” Hyunjin murmured, and the air between them grew silent again, before they tried to speak again, both at once.

“I-”

“Mr Jisung-”

“I am sorry,” Jisung allowed himself to laugh, but kept his tones hushed, as he felt it was appropriate to not disturb the night around them. “You first.”

“I… I have missed you dearly,” Mr Hyunjin confessed, and Jisung’s entire being felt as if it had been set alight at once. “So much… the absence of your presence in my life has left a gap much too deep to be filled by anyone other than you, Mr Jisung.”

“I have missed you too,” Jisung whispered, “but please… speaking of matters so close to the heart… it feels wrong to have you address me formally.”

“Then you should not address me as such either,” Hyunjin bid, and Jisung nodded silently in agreement. 

“Jisung…” Jisung’s heart leapt into his throat as Hyunjin turned to face him, their legs a mere breath away from touching. “Jisung, I have something I must tell you.”

Finding himself wordless and robbed of breath, Jisung could only nod as Hyunjin looked down at the ground, his long hair falling into his face and free of any hair ties that usually left his face free and untouched. 

“I was a fool to have left it this long, Jisung, but I am deeply in love with you… I did not know it was possible to feel a connection so strong to another. All of my life I have scorned the idea of lifelong love, and was determined to marry somebody of my parents’ choosing, for whoever I married should matter not if the love would not last to begin with… but after getting to know  _ you _ , Jisung, every qualm about love and marriage flew out of my mind, never to be doubted. 

I was scared to admit it to myself at first, for admittance is a step towards commitment, and after commitment you only have the rest of your life… but I  _ want _ that, Jisung. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, if you will have me.”

At first there was just silence, a silence so awful that Hyunjin was sure that if sound had hands, it would be ripping his heart out with ease, but upon looking up and meeting Jisung’s eyes with his own, he became more courageous as he saw the spark that lay within them. It emboldened him enough to reach out, and dare taking Jisung’s hand within both of his own, and was met with groundbreaking relief when Jisung’s fingers curled around his own instead of pushing him away.

“You know not of how much I have suffered in your absence,” Hyunjin whispered into the still silence between them, “I never thought it would be possible to miss one so much… to yearn and long for somebody to such an extent… it appears that my love for you has broken every boundary within me already.”

And Jisung did not know what to say, for he had been quite taken aback at this sudden confession, and although his own feelings returned Mr Hyunjin’s his mouth worked of its own accord, and something entirely different from what he  _ meant _ to say came out instead, surprising both of them.

“Your hair… looks very soft. It is pretty,” Jisung said, and then slapped a hand atop his mouth, wondering why he had said that at such a time. He opened his mouth again, and redo his response, but Mr Hyunjin stopped him with a response faster than his own.

“I give you leave to touch it, if you like,” he whispered, and Jisung gasped quietly, his words dying in his throat as he reached out a hand to card through Mr Hyunjin’s long hair: strands of sunlight feeling impossibly soft within his fingers. The touch felt almost scandalous, and entirely intimate, and the way that Mr Hyunjin leaned into Jisung's hand entirely, a soft breath leaving his lips as his eyes slipped closed, made Jisung feel as though his heart would beat completely out of his chest.

"I am sorry," Jisung said as he took in the warmth radiating from Hyunjin, eager to move forward with the conversation and erase his accidental wrong words. "I chose my words wrongly... I panicked. What I meant to say -- was that -"

Words failed him all of a sudden, and he blinked rapidly, trying to find the words to encapsulate his feeling in all their entirety. But that was the tricky thing about love: when it inevitably grew strong enough, no words could ever begin to brush the surface of its capacity, and trying to speak them aloud made one feel hopeless and helpless in the face of it.

"It is okay," Hyunjin whispered, "we have all the time in the world." He placed a hand atop of Jisung's, which now cupped his face, and Jisung panicked a little, knowing that the touch was entirely too personal for those who were not at least promised to one another, and tried to move away, leaning back and attempting to remove his hand. But another hand atop his prevented him from moving far, and his gaze snapped back to Hyunjin, who regarded him with emotional eyes and a look of what could only be interpreted as soft adoration.

"Stay close, just this once," Hyunjin implored quietly, and Jisung struggled to make out his next words, "I cannot bear to be apart from you any more than this right now."

Exhaling shakily, Jisung knew not how appropriate it would be to shuffle closer, but for now all appropriate manner was thrown away with reckless abandon, hidden by the dark night and approved by the moon herself as the stars in the sky shone brighter than ever down upon them. Giving way to his longing, he let Hyunjin pull him a little closer, and finally let himself be embraced, leaning into the gentleman before him with a sigh of relief and comfort that only the two of them heard as it melted into the shushing of the trees above them.

"Perhaps it is a bold assumption beyond belief to make, but judging by your actions, I am led to think that you are not entirely repulsed by my confession," Hyunjin murmured, and Jisung laughed lightly, pushing his head into a warm shoulder and revelling in the way his heart skipped a beat as Hyunjin nuzzled into his hair in return; a natural give and take. Jisung had forever been a huge physical toucher in terms of showing affection, and this light of relationship was certainly no different, apart from the warmth blooming within his chest feeling enough to set his entire being alight.

"You would be correct," Jisung replied, "but I cannot find the words to convey how deep my feelings run... how deep they  _ have _ ran, for so long now."

"You have never showed your true feelings through  _ just _ talking, and that is okay," Hyunjin assured him, and at once it was as if a weight had been lifted from his chest and shoulders - of course, Hyunjin would recognise his love languages that easily. He knew  _ Jisung _ that easily.

"It was your acts of love that made me feel so emboldened as to confess with such raw vulnerability," Hyunjin carried on, and Jisung sat back a little to study his face. "WIthout them I might have felt rather lost regarding the whole situation... but it is perfectly okay, Jisung, to not find the words. Your actions speak so much louder."

"Am I truly that obvious?" Jisung mused, and laughed when Hyunjin did, throwing his head back and letting joy bubble from their chests in the form of happy melodies.

"Truly, not to me. But upon closer contemplation it became rather clear..."

"I love you," Jisung said suddenly, needing to say it and get some semblance of his feelings in the open despite Hyunjin's assurances that he did not need to. "So, so much - it does not feel real that you feel the same way."

"Then I will make it real," Hyunjin promised, and after a brief pause during which he glanced down at Jisung's lips and received a nod of consent in return, he leaned in and kissed him tenderly. At first Jisung froze, and Hyunjin moved away immediately, terrified that he had misread his nodding most foolishly, but then Jisung seemed to realise the reality of what was indeed happening, and moved closer within an instant, reconnecting their lips softly and kneeling so close that he was practically in Hyunjin’s lap. This, of course, was a source of great delight to Hyunjin, and if they had not been outside he might have played with the idea of pulling him in anyway. Instead, he wrapped an arm around Jisung’s waist and embraced him as they kissed, letting one hand card through his hair and angle their heads better as they clumsily - but no less lovelily - found the best way to kiss, and discovered each other properly. 

Jisung carded both hands through Hyunjin’s hair, and moved his head just slightly to the side, causing their lips to lock in a way that could only make any of them think of a jigsaw piece, crafted perfectly for the other person, as if nothing else was ever meant to touch either man in such a way, like they were made exactly for the other. The sensation made Hyunjin feel quite emotional, and the feeling of kissing Jisung made so much love swell up within his chest that he quite lost his composure, and a single tear slipped from his eye, wetting both of their cheeks. Jisung pulled away, and wiped the tear away with the pad of his thumb and a concerned gleam in his eyes.

“Are you quite alright, my love?” he asked quietly, and Hyunjin nodded, little bubbles of laughter spilling from his lips as he placed his hands atop of Jisung’s, keeping him held in place, cradling Hyunjin’s face so gently and tenderly. 

“I am better than I have ever been - I am so  _ incandescently _ happy.”

He kissed Jisung again, and when they pulled away after a long moment they intertwined their hands, letting them fall into their laps between them as silently as the night.

“I am afraid we have done things rather backwards tonight,” Hyunjin then said, and Jisung chuckled in acknowledgement, squeezing his hand reassuringly. 

“It is not as scandalous as others may view it. If you will let me, I will hereby promise myself to you, here and now, until we can be engaged,” Jisung murmured, and Hyunjin’s eyes refilled with tears at once. 

“Oh, Jisung - if you promise yourself to me, then I will unto you at once. But who is to say that I cannot propose here and now?”

“It would be extraordinarily unusual, in these circumstances,” Jisung replied, and Hyunjin smiled wide, and squeezed his hands again.

“I would not say that anything that has happened tonight has been usual in  _ any _ case. But what  _ is _ usual about love?” 

“You are right. I have never once recognised anything ordinary about it.”

“Would you, then?  _ Will _ you marry me?” Hyunjin asked simply, and then it was Jisung who had tears in his eyes, nodding vehemently as he threw himself forwards into Hyunjin, who caught him with a beaming smile and insurmountable amounts of joy coursing through his veins.

Their hearts beat in unison, and finally,  _ finally _ , they had reason to never be separated again.

  
  
  
  
  


“Look, I think they have finally been able to address their feelings to each other,” Felix said to Jeongin as he stood at their bedroom window, holding Chohee with one hand and feeding her a small bottle. They could have a servant do this, but they preferred the bonding time. “Come and see, my love.”

Jeongin stood from their bed and joined Felix at the window, just in time to see Jisung practically fall into Hyunjin’s arms as their bodies shook with what seemed to be joyful laughter. They could barely hear them through the thick windows, but the moonlight illuminating their features gave enough away for the situation to be easily read. Both gentlemen looked away as the couple outside kissed, chuckling to themselves as they did so. Felix looked down at Chohee, who had finished her feeding and had fallen back asleep, and placed her back in her cradle with care before climbing back into bed, where Jeongin waited once more.

“It reminds me of our own engagement not so long ago,” Jeongin said, and Felix laughed. 

“Yet you speak as if it were years ago. But I am happy for them - I wonder, should we play the fool when they tell us tomorrow, or congratulate them the moment they are both seated at the breakfast-table?”

“Let us not ruin their fun. We will play the fools until they tell us their story of  _ how _ , and then we will fill in the blanks from what we have seen,” Jeongin suggested, and Felix laughed heartily. 

“Very well. We will all have our share of fun.”

“Mm, we shall. Goodnight, my sweet,” Jeongin rolled closer and threw an arm around Felix before he succumbed to the night, with Felix following closely after, lest he be disturbed by Chohee again before he had another chance to sleep. 

  
  
  


That morning, when Hyunjin and Jisung told Jeongin and Felix with joy that they were engaged, they were met with voluptuous congratulations, and when it came about that the latter couple witnessed the last few moments of the big moment itself, the table fell apart in incredulous laughter.

It was a perfectly fitting way to start their engagement - their new intertwined journey into their finale. 

And no one, not one, could wait.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading, i really hope you enjoyed! leave a comment letting me know your thoughts <3   
> and again, happy birthday hyunjin ! <3 and FUCK ssngs. i wish them a very fucking prison 
> 
> twt: roseseungs  
> kofi: rainydays325


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